


Moving In

by mearcats



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Mutual Pining, Roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-10
Updated: 2017-02-01
Packaged: 2018-07-14 06:52:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7158254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mearcats/pseuds/mearcats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Killian ends up moving in with his friend Emma when he and his long-term girlfriend Milah break up. They've been friends for a decade, but could it turn into more?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Trouble

**Author's Note:**

> Happy birthday to my dear Ann! Writing your fic life is so fun, and I hope you have the best of days.

_Day 1_

Emma massaged her temples in frustration. She got it, she really did. But why did David have to pick NOW to move in with Mary Margaret? Yeah, yeah, love and all that jazz. But it was October, not the best time for finding a cheaper place or another roommate. Everywhere affordable was rented out by July, and pretty much everyone who wasn’t completely sketchy had their living situation figured out by then.

It’s not like David or Mary Margaret had planned on the latter getting pregnant. To be sure, they were overjoyed, but it definitely came as a surprise. They had been talking about moving in together, about getting engaged, but this _definitely_ speeded things up.

So now Emma needed a new roommate. David was like her brother—they’d befriended each other their sophomore year high school and had rarely been apart since. Ever since he had decided to take the weird foster kid under his wing, they had been like family. His mother had taken Emma in and fostered her until they graduated from high school. In fact, except for their first two years of college, they’d been roommates for most of their adult lives. 

They had gone to the same college, but they’d been put on separate floors in a dorm that didn’t allow on-campus residence halls to place students of the opposite sex in the same room, no matter how sibling-like their relationship. That’s when David had met Liam, now one of his best friends. And Emma had found a fantastic roommate in Tink. David and Emma had smirked smugly when their respective roommates had begun a relationship, further tying their group together. 

Eventually, their group grew even more. Liam’s siblings, Killian and Regina (she was their half-sibling, but the three had grown up together). Regina was a couple years older than Emma, David, Liam, and Tink, and she was the pioneer of the group—she was the first of their friends to move to Storybrooke, having accepted a job in the local government there. Emma, David, and Liam had moved there upon their graduation, and Killian had followed when he graduated the following year. Tink had moved to the town as soon as she got her counseling certificate, and she and Liam had gotten married shortly thereafter. David had been smitten the second he met Regina’s cousin, Mary Margaret. It had taken them almost a year to get together, but they’d been inseparable since. And Killian had met Milah soon after moving here, and the two had moved in together quickly. Just last year, Regina had begun seeing a charming young widower, and Robin and his son Roland had just moved a few months before. 

Emma shook her head. She was fresh out of options for a roommate within their friend group, and a trip down memory lane wouldn’t help with that. If she weren’t trying to save up to buy a house next year, she wouldn’t need a roommate. But here she was at the age of twenty-eight, looking a roommate. 

She was very happy about her little niece or nephew, but she couldn’t deny her annoyance. Oh well, there wasn’t much she could do tonight. Emma sighed. Tomorrow would be full of Craigslist weirdos, and _that_ prospect was certainly thrilling. 

\--- 

 _Day 3_  

Emma was _tired_. After putting up the ad yesterday, she had talked to three potential roommates today, but none of them seemed entire suitable. First, she’d met Hans, who was just off enough that alarm bells rang in Emma’s head. No way was that creep going to live with her. Then she’d met Peter, and Emma was 95% sure he was a drug dealer. And as a deputy sheriff, she really couldn’t live in the same apartment as that. Finally, she’d met Mulan. Mulan had been perfect on paper—quiet, kept to herself, badass enough to be interesting—but it hadn’t been five minutes into their conversation before both of them realized that Mulan’s new girlfriend was Emma’s old girlfriend. She and Elsa had broken up on good terms six months ago, but the situation was just too awkward for either Emma or Mulan. 

She was back at square one. Emma crossed her fingers that more viable candidates would get in touch tomorrow. In the meantime, she’d send out a group text and see if any of their friends had other friends or coworkers who needed a new roommate. 

\--- 

 _Day 5_  

David was moving out today. He felt a little guilty as Emma carried a box of his stuff to the moving truck, but he couldn’t let himself wallow. His sister would be fine. He and Mary Margaret were just a couple miles away. He’d gladly pay a couple more months’ rent if it would help Emma. He and Mary Margaret would be fine; they were staying in her apartment while they looked for a house. Fortunately, between the two of them, they had enough in savings for a good little home and the cost of a baby. 

 _He was going to be a father._ David still couldn’t quite wrap his head around it. Emma had teased him about the silly grin he’d been wearing for the past few days. Walking inside to grab another box, he was distracted by the sound of  a phone ringing. 

It was Emma’s. David looked down and saw that it was Liam calling. He wondered what his best friend had to say, so he only paused a second before answering. “Hey, asswipe. Emma’s phone.” 

Liam chuckled goodnaturedly. “Ah, so I’ve reached the douchier of the two Swan-Nolan siblings. Is Emma around?” 

“Yeah, she’s helping load stuff into the moving truck, but she should be in in a second. Anything I can do to help?” 

Liam hesitated, “Erm, I don’t think so. I may have found a flatmate for Emma, if she’s amenable to the situation.” 

“Oh?” David asked curiously. 

“Perhaps. I think I should talk to her first. Might end up filling in the whole lot of you at the pub later this evening.” 

“Oh, uh...okay. All right, here she is.” David handed Emma’s phone to her as she came inside, eyebrows raised in question. He mouthed “Liam” to her and went to finish loading the truck. 

“Hey, Liam. What’s up?” Emma wiped the sweat off her forehead. It had started cooling down, but fall had nothing on the rigors of moving. 

“Well, Emma darling, I may have the answer to your flatmate quandary.” Liam sounded smug as usual, but also strangely...timid. 

“Oh? This should be good. Better than the current prospects at any rate. Who’s the lucky potential roomie?” 

Liam drew in a breath. “Killian.” 

“Wait, what? But he’s with Mi-” she cut off abruptly. “Oh.” 

“Yeah, love. He and Milah broke up a few days ago. He’s been crashing on mine and Tink’s couch. He was waiting for a bit before saying anything..” 

Emma nodded in understanding. “He was waiting to see if they got back together. If they did, no reason to tell all of us nosy bastards or worry about finding a new place. I get it.” 

Liam murmured his assent. “Aye, lass. But they had another chat last night and it’s fairly obvious they’re through.” 

She winced. “That sucks. But I’m game for him being my roommate if he is. Is he there? I figure I should probably talk to him.” 

He sighed. “Alas, he’s not present right now. But I’ll have him give you a call as soon as he gets back here.” 

“Sure thing, captain.” 

Liam bid her farewell and promised to see her later. Emma put the phone down slowly. She was happy to have found a roommate, but this...this was rough. Milah may not have been part of their original crew, but she’d been part of the group for five years. At this point, she was as much a fixture as Killian himself. Their group had thus far avoided and huge break-ups. (Both she and Regina had had a few relationships here and there over the years, but none that had fully integrated into the friend group until Regina had started seeing Robin.) She had no idea how to handle this, wasn’t sure if any of them did. 

God, poor Killian. He’d been a year behind Emma, Dave, Tink, and Liam in school. While he’d been a fairly awkward kid upon his arrival—all gangly limbs and disheveled hair —he’d quickly grown into his looks and been fairly popular. He’d had a few girlfriends, but nothing serious until Milah. Emma hoped he would be okay. 

She and David managed to get the last of the stuff loaded  in the truck before Killian called. Emma had just waved her brother off, telling him she’d see him at their local watering hole that evening, when her phone rang. 

Verifying that it was Killian, Emma answered quickly. “Hey, Jones.” 

“Swan. I hear you have an opening for a new flatmate,” he said. 

Emma had never heard Killian’s voice sound so dull and lifeless. Normally he was verbose, his words lilting happily. (To be honest, it drove her a little crazy sometimes.) But this...well, even the local funeral parlor director had more joie de vivre. “That I do. You interested?” 

He chuckled bitterly. “Not interested exactly, but I find myself in need of place to live. It seems my brother and his wife have tired of having me on their couch.” 

She drew in a breath. “I’m sorry.” 

His voice broke, and Emma’s heart along with it. “Not your fault, love. I assume Liam filled you in on some of the situation?” 

“Yeah. If you want to talk about it…” 

“If I want to talk about it, I’ll get in touch with Tink,” he said abruptly. 

Emma wasn’t really sure how to respond to that. 

Sensing he’d been rude, Killian was quick to apologize. “Sorry, love. That was uncalled for. My emotions are all over the place.” 

“I-It’s okay. Don’t make a habit of it, but I kind of get it. I’ll let it slide,” she said, hoping he could pick on the olive branch she was offering. 

He did, and Emma gave a quick sigh of relief. They spent a few minutes more talking about particulars—rent and utilities, everything he’d have to get done, what he was bringing, and finally, when he would move in. Killian turned down her offer to help him move his stuff, saying he had it squared, especially if he could just use the bed David had left behind. They tentatively planned for the following Wednesday. Emma forgot to ask if he’d be at the Rabbit Hole later, but she figured she’d find out then. 

Killian did show up to the Rabbit Hole. He found himself there at his brother’s urging, Liam having pressed him to go out. So Killian was determined to get well and truly smashed. 

The entire crew was there. The air felt a little awkward, those present torn between celebrating Mary Margaret and David moving in together and telling people they were expecting and feeling sorry for Killian and Milah splitting. 

It was odd not having Milah at the table. She was older than the rest of them, but she and Killian had been together for five years. They had all gotten fairly close to her, and Emma made a mental note to text her. Of course, Killian had been their friend for longer and had stronger ties to the rest of the group, but that didn’t mean Milah had to disappear from their lives entirely. _Unless she wanted to_ , thought Emma with a twinge of melancholy. 

She shook her head. No sense dwelling on has-beens and maybes. Turning to Killian, she nudged him with her elbow. “Jones, the landlord says that you can move in Wednesday, assuming everything checks out.”

He blinked at her owlishly for a moment before smiling a little. “I certainly hope my background check goes over well with the sheriff,” he teased. 

She smirked back at him, “Oh, I wouldn’t count on it. You look like trouble.” 

“Minx.” 

“That’s me. Do you want me to get you another shot of whatever you’re having?” 

“No thank you, Swan. Liam and Tink will have enough fun getting me back to their place.” 

With that, both of them turned their attention back to the main conversation, which seemed to be centered around joking that Mary Margaret’s father was going to go old-school and threaten David for knocking up his daughter. The two of them blushed and tried to wave off the teasing. 

Emma was glad that these were her people, even if they were a bunch of weirdos. 

\--- 

 _Day 10_  

Today was move-in day for Killian. He should already have gotten everything done by the time she got home, thought Emma. It wasn’t that she hadn’t wanted to help him, but she’d had a later shift. And she was hoping to stay out of the way. 

Killian had been much grumpier than usual the past few days. Understandably. But just because Emma got it didn’t mean she wanted to be around for the stress of actually moving in. Nope, she’d leave that to Liam. 

She missed younger, happier Killian. Even with the difficulty of their upbringing, Killian was always fairly sunny. He had been so cute when she had met him, seventeen and thin and gangly. Emma had never told anyone about her brief crush on him, and she smiled now thinking of it. She had been eighteen, a full year older and convinced of her superior maturity. It hadn’t stopped her from privately sighing over his eyes and the way his hair was always so casually disheveled, though.

He was certainly a good-looking man now, Emma thought. She crossed her fingers as she got ready to head back to the apartment, hoping he wouldn’t be trouble for her after all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moving on was never so hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long since I've update! But have over 5000 words of room-friend shenanigans and pining.

_Day 31_

Killian stumbled into the kitchen in search of his breakfast. He’d been living here for three weeks now. It hadn’t taken him long to get settled in, as he hadn’t brought many of his things with him. He knew boxes of his things were still waiting for him at his and Milah’s old apartment, but he needed to summon some stoicism before attempting _that_.

Breakfast first, though.

Killian rummaged through the cupboard in search of his cereal. He had made sure he had enough to last him until he went grocery shopping this evening. Besides, who didn’t love Captain Crunch? He went to pour the cereal into his bowl...and nothing but cereal dust came out.

He knew he’d made sure he had enough for today. That could only mean one thing--that Emma Swan was a bloody cereal thief.

She knew how much he valued a good breakfast. For god’s sake, they’d known each other for a decade. She’d seen him when he didn’t eat first thing in the morning. This was nothing short of betrayal.

Well, two could play at that game. Killian happened to know that Emma had worked the late shift last night. He also knew she was a light sleeper.

Walking back over to the cupboard, he slammed it shut. He opened it again, rifled through its contents, and found some Pop Tarts in the back. Snagging the last packet, he opened it angrily. _Ha, take that, Swan_ , he thought.

Right now he had to go to work. He would talk to Emma later about boundaries with food. And if he happened to be a little noisier than he had been since moved in, well, she could ruddy well deal with it.

Around noon that day, Emma finally dragged herself out of bed. Her shift had ended at three that morning and she had basically collapsed as soon as she’d gotten home (after a quick snack, that is--she hadn’t eaten since the previous morning). But she’d woken up this morning when Killian had been uncharacteristically loud. She’d been irritated, but she was too exhausted to come out and bitch about it.

Albert Spencer had retired fairly suddenly after almost twenty years as sheriff, and Graham had taken over the position. But that meant there weren’t enough deputies. So until they found someone and got them into the rotation, everyone was pulling extra shifts...that were longer than their usual. Emma couldn’t complain about the extra money it was bringing in, but she was also pretty sure the last time she’d been this sleep-deprived had been during her last finals in college.

She made her way out to the kitchen. As soon as she saw the empty boxes for the Captain Crunch and the Pop Tarts, her stomach dropped. _Shit_ , she thought guiltily, _the cereal must have been Killian’s and not something David left behind_. Which meant that the poor guy had had to grab whatever was around.

_Great, Emma. Way to make a stellar impression on your new roommate._

She put five dollars and an apologetic note on the fridge, writing his name in big letters so he couldn’t miss it. She also figured she could make it up to him...Thursday evening.

Damn it, two whole shifts stood between now and then. Grumbling, she pulled on her jacket so she could run down to the diner for her own breakfast. Bear claws it was.

\---

_Day 32_

Now that it wasn’t seven-thirty in the morning, Killian felt a little sheepish about his outburst the previous morning. Not that he wanted Emma eating all his breakfast food, but he had been operating on hangriness at the time. He crossed his fingers that she wasn’t too peeved. Especially since she had been sleeping during one of her short breaks between grueling shifts. She was even less personable than he was when operating on a sleep deficit.

Ah, well. Hopefully he could make it up to her tonight. Emma had mentioned in her note that she would stop by the store on her way back from her afternoon shift and pick up some rum. Killian had quickly agreed to roommate bonding night. They had seen precious little of each other since he moved in, between his dealing with his breakup ( _brooding_ , said a voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like both Emma and Liam) and her working at least sixty hours weekly.

He resolved to be a decent human being by the time she got back. He had three hours or so to get ready.

Killian did feel better after his meal later that evening. Currywurst, fries, and sauerkraut, while smelly, definitely took his mind off his sad excuse for a love life and his roommate woes. Food truly did cure many ills. Between that and a marathon of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the world seemed brighter.

Emma stumbled in the door, exhausted and carrying two full grocery bags. It was nearly nine, but she was done with her shift and done with grocery shopping. She had gotten a few different breakfast foods, and more importantly...a bottle of rum.

Killian stirred from his place on the couch to greet her and help her put the groceries away. She smiled tentatively at him, and he gave her a sheepish grin in return. “Sorry I was a passive-aggressive wanker yesterday, Swan.”

“And I’m sorry I ate your breakfast,” she said.

He scratched behind his ear. “Don’t worry about it. I may have overreacted a tad.”

Emma’s lips twitched. “Just a tad. But hey! I bought breakfast food, and I figured we could talk about grocery shopping and food division. Oh, I also got us some rum.”

Killian laughed and hugged her. “You truly are a hero. And yeah, we probably should have a chat about some roommate issues before we get on with the hanging out bit.”

“I mean, it can’t go too badly if there’s alcohol, can it?”

“An excellent point.”

As soon as they finished putting away the groceries, Killian offered Emma the remaining currywurst and fries. She accepted gratefully and poured them both a generous helping of the rum and they made their way to the couch.

Emma smiled at the screen. “Oh, good episode. Is this your first time watching the show?”

“Yeah. It’s good. Helps take my mind off things without making everything seem worse.”

“I’m a fan. I watched it after Neal and I broke up,” she shrugged.

The reminder of his single state seemed to annoy him, and he tightened his lips. Emma considered apologizing, but decided to change the subject instead. “Thanks again for the lunch. Like I said, I bought some breakfast things. Sorry about earlier--I thought the cereal was something David left behind. Honestly, he’s the only person I’ve lived with as an adult, and we shared groceries. So if I do something that upsets you or that isn’t cool for someone who’s not your brother, just tell me.”

Killian brightened. “Deal. And I haven’t lived with someone who isn’t Liam or Milah since high school, so I’m a bit rusty. Having a roommate who isn’t sleeping with you isn’t something I’m used to.” As the implications of his words sank in, his eyes widened in horror (and he ignored a quick flash of want) and he turned tomato red. “Oh god, I didn’t mean it like that.”

Emma had frozen for a second before bursting into uncontrollable laughter. “Oh my god, Jones, your face. I’ve never seen you look so embarrassed.”

He ran his hand over his eyes. “I don’t know when I’ve ever said such an idiotic thing to you.”

“Oh, you said plenty of stupid things as a teenager,” she said, still laughing.

“Thanks ever so,” he said drily, but the twinkle in his eye softened the tone. “Anyway, before I humiliated myself, I was trying to say that I need to lighten up. And I know you’re insanely busy right now. Right now I’m _less_ busy than I’ve been in years, so I have a couple ideas, if you’re amenable to them.”

“Sure, tell me. I just want to make sure this whole roommates thing works out without us messing up a decade-long friendship.”

Killian nodded at her in understanding. “Aye, that certainly is the goal. What I contemplated was that if you buy more of the groceries--say, all the breakfast items and half of everything else, I’ll make sure I cook enough for both of us whenever I prepare meals. That way the only meal you have to worry about is lunch, when there aren’t leftovers.”

Emma gave a sigh of relief. “That would work more than fine for me. Thank you. I’ve basically been living on Granny’s for the last few weeks, and she’s actually threatened to cut me off if she sees me twice in one day again.”

“And no wonder. That can’t be healthy. When is the last time you ate a vegetable?”

She thought about it for a minute. “Oh, Graham brought a vegetable tray in three days ago! I ate carrots and broccoli,” she exclaimed.

He shook his head. “I can’t believe you’re technically older than I am. You eat like a child.”

“So both you and Regina tell me. It’s almost like you’re related or something.”

“Even if she weren’t my sister, we’d be in agreement on that.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “Okay, sure, I eat like a child. But yeah, this sounds like a good plan. Just write your name on stuff you don’t want me to touch. And when I’m not as busy and can cook more again, we can revisit this.”

“Sounds good. Now, Swan, let’s watch some Buffy.”

“Cool. I’ll go get the rum bottle.”

Refilling their glasses when she returned, she settled in to watch. They talked awhile about work and their their plans for the upcoming holidays. Eventually, conversation dwindled as they got more engrossed in what was on the television. She tried not to doze, but the busy week caught up with her. Emma opened her eyes to see Killian watching Buffy and Riley argue. He averted his eyes when Riley left, and Emma cleared her throat but didn’t look over at him.

“We can change the episode if you want, Killian.”

He sighed, and when he answered, his voice was even. “No, it’s fine. I just...well, I feel for Buffy.”

Emma sat up and looked at Killian in surprise. “I would have thought you’d have been more with Riley here.”

He looked at her, aghast. “Should I be offended that you think I have more in common with that oaf?”

“No, that’s not what I mean, I-”

“Relax, Swan, I know.” He paused before continuing, “It’s just...everyone around Buffy could see the end coming, but she didn’t. And that...I wonder if it was like that with Milah and me.”

“Jones...I think we were all surprised. No one saw that coming.”

Killian paused the show. “No one? I mean, I guess it’s because I haven’t even told Liam much about it.”

Emma glanced at his cup and saw that it was empty, and she poured him more rum. “Yeah, all either you or Milah have said is that you wanted different things.”

He looked at her sharply. “You’ve talked to her?”

She softened. “Not much, really. Just checked in right after, and she didn’t say much.”

He slumped over and took a long pull of his rum. “I figured as much. But it hurts, you know? One day we’re fine, and then suddenly Dave and Mary Margaret are having a baby. And Milah’s crying, talking about how she wants a baby, how she’s almost too old to start trying.”

“Oh, Killian…” Emma’s heart broke for him. For both of them, for the entire situation. She filled her own glass again.

He raised his glass to her and downed the rest. “I was surprised. We never talked about babies, not once. I mean, except when we first started dating, and then we were trying to _prevent_ babies. And I’m twenty-seven. I think I want children, but I dunno. Milah and I didn’t have any savings or anything. We used all our money on adventures, things we both wanted. I was just so surprised. Didn’t even know she wanted that…”

Emma sat there silently, trying to decide what, if anything, to say. “I’m sorry.”

Killian poured himself a little more rum. “I just wasn’t sure, you know? And I don’t think you should have children if you’re not sure about it. Not fair to the little lad or lass. Then Milah kept talking about how she’s 35 and we needed to start now. And I was like, ‘can’t we just have more time?’ But she said we had to start now. She was crying so much, so much.” He looked very much like he himself was on the verge of tears.

“That’s so hard. But maybe it was the right thing if you’re not sure.” She said, scooting over and put a hand on his forearm.

“I felt like I couldn’t give her what she wanted. But right now all I want is _her_.”

“Then you should go get her. Do what you need to.”

He perked up at this. “Yeah, you think?”

Emma nodded, leaning forward. “If you love this woman, go get her. Do what it takes.” She ignored the twinge in her that said that was a bad idea, not what she wanted for him (or herself, a very, very tiny voice whispered).

“You know what, I will.” Killian stood up quickly, Emma’s arm falling to her side. She giggled when he stumbled. “Well, I will tomorrow when I’m not drunk.”

“Good plan.”

He smiled. “I hafta get the rest of my stuff from her anyway. Thish’ll be perfect,” he slurred.

\---

_Day 33_

Emma gave a sigh of relief. She was finally free from work for over a full day. No more shifts until Sunday, and a nice, guilt-free night of hanging out with friends at the Rabbit Hole in a bit. But first she needed to stop at the apartment, grab a shower, and get a change of clothing. She was a mess.

She pulled into the parking lot and trudged up the stairs. She was expecting to see Killian there waiting for them to head to the bar, but what she was _not_ expecting to see was him sitting in the living room surrounded by boxes.

Killian sat on the floor, eyes glassy as he drank from a bottle of rum. He looked up at her as she came in. “Emma. What a delight to see you, darling.”

“Killian...are you okay?”

“No, I most certainly am not.” He paused. “I rather think I won’t be joining the rest of the group for drinks tonight.”

She crouched down on the floor beside him. “What happened?”

He ran his hand over his eyes. “I saw Milah. I went to get the rest of my things, and I tried to convince her to take me back. Told her I’d do anything, we could even try for a baby right away. She…”

To Emma’s shock, Killian started to sob. She wrapped her arms around him and ran her hands over his hair, trying to soothe him.

The two of them sat there for a long while until he quieted with a gulp. “She told me she didn’t want to get back together. That I clearly didn’t want children with her if it was something I was only ‘willing to do’ for her. She wants someone who wants the same future. But can’t she see that I only want her?”

Emma hugged her friend close, running her fingers through his hair. “I’m so sorry, Killian.”

She untangled one of her arms from around him and texted Liam.

**Emma: Killian saw Milah and it didn’t go well. We’re going to stay in instead of going to the bar. Would you let everyone else know we won’t be at the Rabbit Hole?**

She got a reply pretty much immediately.

**Liam: Will do. Let me know if there’s anything I can do or that he needs.**

Killian inquired about the text exchange and Emma filled him in. He shook his head. “I just want to be here. Maybe we can have more drinks?” He blinked at her owlishly.

She smiled softly. “Sure. But I’m going to order us some Chinese food before I start drinking.”

He just hummed an acknowledgment.

A few hours later, they’d both had plenty to eat. Emma even had a chance to get a shower. She was pleasantly tipsy, and Killian was full-on drunk. It wasn’t very late, but she felt her eyelids drooping. She looked over at Killian, who was nodding off into his empty cup.

She snorted, standing up and going over to where he still sat on the floor. “Hey, buddy. You want to think about going to bed yet?”

He started. “What?!” Realizing where he was, he nodded, “Oh. Yeah, not a bad idea.” He stumbled as he got to his feet, grimacing as he did so.

Emma helped him stand, and he placed an arm over her shoulder for stability. She walked him to his room and guided him to his bed. She turned to walk away, but he grabbed her wrist.

“Can you stay here, Emma? I just don’t want to be alone right now…”

She paused for a moment before nodding. “Sure. Scoot over.”

Killian moved over, giving her space to crawl in. He met her eyes in the darkness and hugged her, whispering, “Thank you.”

Emma just squeezed him back, her heart squeezing a little too.

He turned onto his other side, his back against her chest. She smiled against his shoulders, wrapping her arm around his waist. Killian placed his hand over her forearm where it was draped over him.

Emma drew in a breath when he began rubbing his thumb gently over her arm. She shivered, drawing closer to the warmth of his back. As the minutes ticked by, she debated returning his caresses. She certainly wanted to. (Wanted _him_ , something inside her whispered.) Before she could make up her mind, his hand stilled and she heard a low snore.

It was a couple more hours before she drifted off, her mind too busy with worry about what this whole business of wanting Killian meant.

\---

_Day 34_

For the second day in a row, Killian woke up with a pounding head and a sour taste in his mouth. With a groan, he rolled over and looked at the clock. How was it eleven already?

Then he realized there was no sign of Emma beyond the slightly rumpled covers.

Killian had no idea when she had left, but his face heated with embarrassment. He remembered asking her to stay and having a cuddle, and he prayed he hadn’t done anything untoward. God, he’d been a mess yesterday. He only regretted anyone had seen him like that, though he was grateful Emma had kept Liam from coming over.

He went in search of his phone, hoping to find Emma and both thank her for her help the previous evening and apologize for his poor form. He found no trace of her anywhere, sighing with disappointment. He sighed when he found his phone on the floor of the living room amid the clutter of discarded bottles.

Picking it up, Killian saw his brother had texted him multiple times, most recently this morning.

**Liam: Little brother! If your hangover isn’t too awful, come have brunch with Tink and me. Or dinner if you can’t manage that.**

“Wanker,” muttered Killian, texting his older brother back.

**Killian: If you still want to grab brunch or lunch, count me in.**

Liam responded quickly, saying that they would swing by and take them to Granny’s. While Killian’s stomach turned at the thought of food, he knew he’d feel better once he got something solid and greasy in him.

It was a few minutes before noon when their car arrived. Killian had showered quickly and changed, and he already felt better. Liam and Tink looked at him with concern, but soon started teasing and joking with him.

They were walking into diner when the group of them almost ran into Emma. She was clearly on her way out of the diner, and she had a bit of whipped cream left on her upper lip. Killian gave her a fond half-smile seeing that, but she looked away from him quickly. Something twisted inside him at her clear avoidance.

“Emma! Good to see you,” Tink beamed at her. Both Tink and Liam hugged and invited her to stay with them for lunch.

“Thanks for the offer, but I just finished up,” she shrugged apologetically. “Besides, it looks like a family meal, and I don’t want to intrude.”

“Nonsense!” Liam exclaimed loudly. “You’re always welcome to join us.”

Emma smiled at him. “I’m afraid I have to get going. You know, errands and all on the day off.” She moved toward the door, Tink and Liam bidding her farewell.

Killian felt a pang of loss and anxiety at her apparent eagerness to leave...and the fact she hadn’t  looked at him since they arrived. He called out to her before she reached the door, “Emma! Wait!”

She turned to him expectantly, finally meeting his eyes. “Yeah? What is it?”

“I-” Killian cut himself off, suddenly at a loss for words. “Um, you have something on your upper lip, just there,” he pointed.

Emma’s cheeks turned a bit pink, and she wiped her face with the back of her hand. “Did I get it?”

He scratched behind his ear. “Yeah. You did,” he said. As she made her way out the door, he yelled. “See you back at the apartment.”

She acknowledged his goodbye with a slight wave of her hand, but continued out the door.

Killian turned around to face his brother and sister-in-law, both of whom had eyebrows raised as they stared at him.

Liam cleared his throat. “Was that as awkward as it felt to me?”

Killian’s shoulders slumped. “Aye, that was the most bloody awkward moment Emma and I have ever had.”

“Do you know what prompted it?” Tink’s hand on his shoulder was gentle and calming.

Before he could answer, Granny came by to pour them coffee and take their orders. She lingered a while, trying to hear the latest gossip from some of her regulars, but left when they all looked at her blankly. She sniffed as she walked away

Killian finally spoke. “No. Well, probably not. Last night we got drunk, and-”

“Bloody hell, did you sleep together?!” Liam sounded upset. “Christ, Killian. I know you’ve been sweet on her since you were seventeen, but you just got out of a relationship. And she’s your roommate! You should know better.”

“Are you done yet?” Killian glared. “And why should I know better, because I’ve dealt with this situation so many times before? You know full well Milah is the only relationship I’ve ever been in, and the only woman I’ve been with in six years. Besides, Emma and I didn’t sleep together. Not in the way you mean, anyway.”

“Oh, so the sex was kinky instead of just a run-of-the-mill hookup?” Liam asked sarcastically.

Killian was on the verge of a heated retort, his head pounding, when Tink interjected. “Boys, stop yelling at each other. You are adults, and I expect you to behave like it.”

Both Liam and Killian were suitably cowed. “Yes, Tink,” they both muttered.

She smiled. “Now, Killian. Tell us what happened yesterday, starting with your visit to Milah. No interruptions, Liam.”

Killian nodded at her, his heart aching as he remembered yesterday’s visit to his ex. “I went to see Milah to get back the rest of my things. I thought I’d make one last plea for our relationship, but she shot me down. I went home and proceeded to drink heavily until Emma got home, when she got in touch with you,” he said.

They both nodded back, Tink’s face more impartial than Liam’s concerned one. “Tink, are you treating me like I’m one of your clients?”

“Of course I am, you need it.”

“For the love, stop. Anyway, Emma ordered food for us and made sure I ate. We did drink more, and we chatted a fair bit. Then I was tired, but too drunk to make it back to bed on my own, so Emma helped me. I asked her to stay, and she did. We slept next to each other, snuggling a bit, but I don’t remember doing anything untoward. When I woke up this morning, she was gone,” he finished.

Liam just looked perplexed. “Could you have said something you don’t remember?”

“I don’t believe so. I tend to have a fairly good memory, even when I’m drinking. Except when I’m concussed, but that was only one time,” Killian added before his brother could refer to the embarrassing incident that had occurred the first time Killian got drunk.

Fidgeting with her coffee mug, Tink was contemplative. “Killian...I don’t know that it’s you. But I do have a question for you.”

“Well, ask away.”

“Do you think--no,” she paused, sighing. “Anyway, is it possible that this is bothering you so much because you care about Emma?”

Killian shot her an annoyed look. “Of course I do. We’ve been friends for a decade.”

“Half of which you spent mooning over her,” reminded Liam.

“I am not--” Killian ran his hand through his hair, leaving it mussed and in disarray.

“There’s no shame in it, Killian,” soothed Tink.

“Do you all think I left Milah because of Emma too? Everyone seems to bloody think so, and I didn’t,” he stated defensively.

“No one is saying that, we promise.”

“Except for Milah,” Killian muttered.

“Well…” Liam’s voice trailed off.

“Liam, don’t. I had a crush on Emma when I was seventeen years old, and I fell in love with her when we were all in college. Nothing came of it, though, and I was always faithful to Milah.”

Tink screwed her lips up, clearly deciding whether to speak. “You know you can love two people and still be faithful to one, Killian.”

He hesitated. “Aye, I do. And I won’t deny I’m fond of Emma. But…”

Liam clapped a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “It’s okay, little brother. We just worried that your crush was back, and that it might just be a response to your break-up.” He gave his wife a significant look.

She shook her head at Liam but directed her comment at Killian. “Or that your feelings might have grown commensurately with you.”

“That can’t be it,” Killian denied. “She’s so different from Milah. And I-she’s annoying, and she eats my breakfast cereal. I can’t possibly have feelings for her.”

Liam and Tink merely exchanged amused glances, saying nothing. Lost in his thoughts, Killian didn’t notice.

A few blocks away, Emma sat on a bench facing the harbor. She really did have errands to run, things to do today. But she was just so damn _exhausted_. Work, trying to find time with people she cared about, and now these stupid new _feelings_ she had for Killian.

Seriously, what the fuck. She thought she was better than this cliche falling-in-love-with-the-old-friend turned-roommate nonsense.

Clearly not, because if there was one thing she had realized since waking up at the ungodly hour of six a.m., still spooning Killian, it was that this has probably been building for a while all without her knowing about it.

_This is bullshit_ , she thought angrily, staring fiercely out at the horizon. The waves didn’t soothe her as they normally did, instead calling to mind a certain dark-haired, blue-eyed idiot. The seventeen-year old idiot she met is twenty-seven now, and while no less an idiot...he’s wormed his way into her heart.

She had known about his crush back then, his gobsmacked face when they met giving it away immediately. But no, she’d thought she was so cool, older than him, too experienced to go for some innocent boy, however kind and earnest he was.

Instead, Emma had dated a string of other people, some better than others, none of whom made her laugh the way Killian did. By the time she warmed up to him and her walls were down enough to take a chance, she had graduated. The emails back and forth, texting and occasional phone calls during his senior year had made her sure that when he arrived they might have a chance. But he’d been bashful, shy, almost wary of approaching her when he moved here.

Then he met Milah, and he wasn’t bashful or shy. There wasn’t five years of history to deal with, no fear of fucking up a friendship and maybe an entire friend group. So of course Killian had gone for it, and Emma couldn’t really blame him, much as her ego (and maybe her heart) had twinged at the time.

She’d pushed the feelings down, mostly content with Killian’s (and Milah’s) friendship. They were good people, and she was young and there were plenty of other people out there. She had moved on, but she hadn’t realized how damn much she _liked_ and _admired_ the man he had become. What kind of _Pride and Prejudice_ bullshit was that?

Killian was compassionate, sensitive, patient, willing to give it his all for people he cared about. And Emma knew that she was one of those people, to some degree. Just...not in the “I-want-to-fuck-you-senseless-then-cuddle” kind of way she had been thinking about lately. Especially since she’d seen him shirtless many, many times since they’d moved.

She’d just been so tired lately that she hadn’t noticed. The flames of lust she’d felt had been easily pushed aside, Emma labeling it irritation. And being there for him over the last few days had just made it worse, all those annoying little feelings of protectiveness and caring morphing into things that were gooey and romantic. Right. Under. Her nose. Not fair.

Now that Emma knew what she was dealing with, she dreaded going back to the apartment, seeing Killian looking at her with friendship and little else. With her exhaustion, she knew her feelings would be uncomfortably close to the surface.

And it was more apparent than ever that he didn’t care about her that way. When he’d called out to her in Granny’s, she had hoped _he_ would ask her to stay, but no. All he’d had to say when they ran into each other was to point out that she had whipped cream on her face like some kind of child. Especially when she remembered him mocking her (admittedly unhealthy) diet the other day. He’d practically been laughing at her! Add to that her guilt about lusting after his drunk ass the previous evening, and she was screwed.

_Now there was an idea_ , Emma thought. She just had to do like before--push the feelings away, and eventually they’d fade. Nothing helped with that more than moving on, preferably with the help of someone else.

Love was stupid, and Emma wasn’t going to let it win.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hook a girl up with your thoughts?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone struggles with their feelings, and some of them react...poorly.
> 
> (There is mention of Emma/other, but it's not very detailed.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am _so_ sorry about the long wait. I'm finally getting back to working on my WIPs, so I hope this one hasn't been forgotten.

_Day 55_

Emma yawned. She couldn’t remember ever having been this tired. Her work demands hadn’t lessened at all, as the department was _still_ dithering about who to hire. And they had turned down her time off request for days around the holidays. Time she usually had off. _Ugh_.

But at least she had today off. It was Thanksgiving, and she was excited for the extra time with her family and friends.

From her place in the recliner, she smiled sleepily at everyone else. They had feasted earlier in the day and were now in the living room ostensibly watching football. In reality, nearly all of them were dozing to some degree.

She bit back a giggle at the couch where David sat between both Mary Margaret and Killian, both asleep on his shoulders. He met her eye and gave a long-suffering sigh, and she shook with silent laughter.

They were all here today, even those who weren’t American. Liam and Robin were back in the kitchen doing dishes, and Tink had pulled some blankets and pillows on the ground. Regina was in the other recliner, looking remarkably refined for someone who was out hard.

Emma shook her head in amusement. She had no idea how Regina did it–working as mayor, taking care of her stepson, keeping this house in immaculate shape, and hosting lovely Thanksgiving parties. Roland wasn’t here today, having gone down to Boston to spend the holiday with his mother. Pity. Emma liked the kid.

Killian let out a particularly loud snore. Emma laughed, and David burst into giggles. The motion seemed to annoy Mary Margaret into pulling away from him, but Killian snuggled closer. “Emma,” he whispered groggily, burrowing his face in David’s shoulder.

She felt her face turning tomato red, but David just looked at her and raised a questioning eyebrow. Pretending she didn’t see and hadn’t heard, she looked over at the television screen and feigned interest in the proceedings.

Things had been…decent between her and Killian for the last few weeks. Those annoying feelings hadn’t gone away, but she finally felt like she could be herself around him. He had been solicitous since then, his caution and attentiveness making her wonder if he might not be entirely uninterested.

She pushed the thought away. There was no point getting her hopes up at this juncture just because he’d been extra nice and they’d cuddled a little. She was a grown-ass woman, and she intended to act like one.

 

_Day 60_

Liam plopped down next to Regina in the booth and looked across at David and Mary Margaret. “So, what’s the occasion? Not that I don’t appreciate the chance to have pie with such lovely company.”

David and Mary Margaret exchanged looks, and Regina looked into her coffee with a knowing smirk.

“We think something is maybe going on between Emma and Killian,” David said.

Liam raised an eyebrow. “And you decided this how? They’ve been friends for ages.”

“That hardly precludes them developing feelings for each other, idiot. Which they _clearly_ have,” replied Regina with a roll of her eyes.

“What I think they mean is that on Thanksgiving a couple things happened that made us wonder if they’ve gotten involved, or if they at least feelings for each other,” explained Mary Margaret, recounting Killian’s sleepy call for Emma and her blushing.

He leaned back. “Huh, I guess it’s not that surprising, though Killian denied it when Tink and I brought it up.”

“You already asked him?” Mary Margaret sounded dismayed.

“Aye, and he was a slippery little weasel who denied everything.”

“Then what we need to do is work on Emma.”

 

_Day 62_

It had been two months since he and Milah had broken up. Two months of misery, of apathy, of hurt. But today when he woke up, Killian had found himself feeling something he hadn’t in a long while–hope. Normality.

Whether it was the passing of time, the support of his friends and family, or those annoying hints Liam and Tink had been making about Emma…he was ready to start looking forward.

Killian wasn’t ready to jump into a relationship, with Emma or anyone else. But the idea didn’t feel foreign anymore. Milah might not be his future, but his future could be a good thing.

—

Later that day, Emma was sitting at her desk when one of her fellow cops approached her. Lance was the good sort, and not bad looking to boot.

“Evening, Swan. How’s it treating you?”

She answered with a groan. “I don’t remember the last time I was home for a full day. I’ve forgotten the sight of a blue sky, and the smell of berries in the air.”

“Okay, Tolkien,” he said, laughing.

“How about you?”

“So much of the same. I don’t remember what normal life is like.”

“Right? The last time I’ve had food I’ve cooked for myself was I don’t even know how long ago.”

“Don’t I know it! Well, hey, along those lines–would you be interested in grabbing a bite somewhere nice next time we’re off duty at the same time?” He looked so earnest as he said it.

“Oh, uh,” she paused. “I’m not sure that’s the best idea right now. Sorry–”

Lance smiled at her reassuringly. “Don’t sweat it, Emma. If you change your mind, let me know,” he said as he walked past.

She stared as he walked away, confusion and contemplation warring within.

 

_Day 63_

“Emma…have you considered dating again? It’s been a while for you,” Mary-Margaret said, concern ( _condescension_ , Emma’s brain unhelpfully supplied) dripping from her voice.

“Uh, have you heard about how busy I am? I hardly have time to eat and take a shower, let alone go on dates with people.”

David nodded at her, but said, “We’re just worried. We don’t want you to feel lonely or isolated, especially with all the big changes.”

She looked at them blankly. “Big changes?”

“Yeah, remember the whole me being pregnant and David moving out to live with me? And then the Killian and Milah breaking up part, him moving in with you, and him being ready to move on?”

“Oh. Wait, moving on?”

“Yes, Emma. And we think you should move on too. It’s…it’s time. You deserve someone who cares about you.”

“And you think–” Emma began but was interrupted by David.

“–that it’s been too long since you had that.”

She swallowed the lump in her throat–it was obviously clear to her friends that Killian didn’t share her feelings, and they would know. “Okay. But let me handle it? No set ups or anything.”

They exchanged looks but agreed.

—

“That went way better than I thought it would,” said David.

Mary Margaret agreed. “Almost too smoothly.”

“Nah, I think Emma is just ready to open up.”

“I’m just so glad she’s going to talk to Killian.”

 

_Day 65_

During the few moments they’d both been home, Emma had awkwardly done her best to be normal around Killian. Which was to say she felt like she had forgotten the meaning of the word “normal”.

But of course, she hadn’t had much time around the apartment. Her few days off were taken up by catching up on sleep–not even a crush could keep her from her bed.

Today she found herself at work, staring at the back of Lance’s head while he did some paperwork.

She wasn’t in a funk or anything, not really. Sure, it had been a while since Elsa, but nothing so dire as her brother and Mary Margaret were painting it. And she might have been doing some pining over Killian…and that obviously had to stop. She couldn’t go with that twisting feeling, that gnawing uncertainty every time she saw him. The poor guy didn’t need her mooning while he tried to get over his long-term relationship.

So Emma made up her mind. Crumpling up a piece of paper, she threw it across the room at its other occupant. “Lance!”

“Swan, you know you could have gotten my attention without hitting me in the head with post-its.”

“But everyone loves my flair for the dramatic,” she said drolly.

He snorted and turned to face her. “So what’s up?”

“You know how a couple days ago you told me that if I changed my mind about us getting dinner that I should tell you? Well, this is me telling you.”

She felt some satisfaction at how (pleasantly) surprised he looked. “Oh, uh, yeah. Is…is tonight too soon? It’s just I think we’re both off at a reasonable time.”

“I can do that.”

—

She was home. Leaning against the door, she let out a breath of relief. The evening had been…fun. It was easy and uncomplicated hanging out with Lance, and it had been such a _nice_ date.

Emma still felt a pang when she thought of Killian just a couple rooms over, but she…she would do what she needed to to move on. And she might even have a good time doing so.

 

_Day 85_

Killian wasn’t jealous, per se. He just had some reservations about Emma dating Lance. For god’s sake, they worked together! Too many perils there for it to be a good thing.

And that was how he found himself at home on a Sunday, absolutely _not sulking_ before Emma went off on her third date with Lance.

Maybe it was the timing of it–him deciding he was ready to move on, and considering giving it a go with Emma (and being fairly sure she had at least a little interest in him), only to learn she had decided to date someone else. And she had been…awkward around him since then. On the rare occasions when they saw each other, she had been distant and and uncomfortable in a way she hadn’t since they met over a decade ago.

And yes, it felt petty to be jealous of a guy like Lance, who seemed to be an all-around decent fellow who treated Emma with respect and friendship. But he couldn’t seem to shake it, and he could just feel his jaw clenching when he saw the man.

Tonight felt particularly fraught. It was their third date, and Killian tried not to think about things generally associated with said date. Obviously, Emma was free to do what she wanted, but…it hurt a little.

If only he could pin Emma down to maybe talk about _why_.

_Speak of the devil and she doth appear_ , he thought as Emma emerged from her room.

“Oh! Hey, Killian.”

“Ready for your evening out, eh, Swan?” He hoped his cheer didn’t ring quite as false as it felt.

“Uh, yeah. It’ll be fun.”

“What are you all up to tonight?”

“We’re going out to dinner and then I think we’re going to hang out. Maybe watch a movie or something.”

“Ah, that does sound like…fun. Third date, too?”

A loaded, awkward pause, and then she replied, “Yeah, that should be…fun.”

“Well, have a good night!” God, he couldn’t sound more insincere if he tried.

Her response was equally strained sounding. “You too!”

She ducked out the door, and Killian buried his face in his hands.

He was _fucked_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews feed the muse, and thank you all!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misunderstandings are ironed out and declarations are made. There might even be a question or two that gets asked.

_Day 110_

_Finally_. She finally found a way to quit working that soul-sucking schedule she’d been working for the last few months. Emma gave a sigh of relief as she exited hers and Mulan’s new office.

She had finally reached the point where she just couldn’t keep on with the schedule she’d had, and the sheriff’s department seemed no closer to hiring someone new.

She’d randomly run into Elsa and Mulan a few days ago, and it had been surprisingly pleasant. In spite of the initial awkwardness of the situation, Emma and Mulan fell into conversation quickly about work. Mulan mentioned that she was starting a private security and investigation agency and that she was looking for a partner, and Elsa had reminded her girlfriend that Emma worked in law enforcement. They’d met a few times since then and talked numbers, and they were ready to get to work.

She was just so excited and and relieved not to have to deal with sixty hour weeks except by choice. With one of Mulan’s contacts, they already had a fairly lucrative contract in the works.

Now to tell her friends.

—

Emma scooted over, brightening when Killian smiled over at her. Things may have been awkward between them, but she could always count on him to be supportive of her, to be happy at her successes and joys.

The entire gang had gathered when Emma sent out a mass text asking them to meet for her exciting news. It felt like ages since she’d seen them all, but all her favorite people were here waiting for her to tell them.

She grinned happily. “I’m quitting my job.”

“What?!” exclaimed at least four of her friends.

“Relax, relax,” she said, seeing Regina about to start censuring her about responsibility. “I’m actually starting another job as soon as my resignation goes through. You all remember Elsa, right?”

Cautious nods met her question.

“Well, her girlfriend, Mulan, is pretty awesome. And she just started a private security and investigation firm, and I signed on as partner. We already have an awesome contract, and I won’t have indefinite crazy days.”

David reached across the table for her hand. “Emma, that’s amazing. I’m so happy for you,” he said, and the rest echoed their congratulations.

Killian pulled her into a one-armed hug. “That’s fabulous, love. Does this mean I’ll get to see you around the apartment more?”

“Maybe,” she replied, meeting his eyes gleefully.

Then Mary Margaret pulled her out of her happy bubble. She sounded hesitant as she asked, “That is really wonderful…but what does Lance think?”

—

_Day 111_

Emma bit her lip, her nerves taking root in the silence. Lance was sitting beside her on the bench, quiet in the wake of her announcement.

They had gone to the park for lunch during Emma’s last shift. She had asked her bosses to keep her departure quiet, to give her time to tell everyone.

She didn’t know why she had waited so long to tell him. She just hadn’t been able to get up the nerve to send that text or make plans to meet up.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Lance’s sigh. He smiled sadly at her and took her hand, squeezing lightly. “So I guess this is it, huh?”

“Wait, what? You’re breaking up with me?” Emma hated how small her voice sounded.

“Emma…I like you. A lot. But…our relationship is basically the same as when we were just friends and colleagues. We didn’t even kiss until our fourth date, and you haven’t seemed interested in taking it farther. I would never pressure you, but…”

“But you want more.”

“Yes, I do. And I think you do too. Just…not with me.”

She hesitated. “I do like you, you know.”

“Just not in the way you wish you did.”

“Yeah.”

“It’s okay, you know. Better end it now before either of us are in too deep.”

“I-I’m sorry, though.”

“Me too.”

“You deserve better.” Oh god, she was actually getting _emotional_. Her throat had the audacity to tighten.

He let go of her hand, but bumped her shoulder gently. “Hey, so do you. And you better believe I still want to be friends.”

“You do?”

“Of course. I’m going to miss you throwing paper at my head and making bad jokes.”

She elbowed him lightly and gave him a watery smile. “Of course you will. I’m a treasure.”

“You really are.”

—

She flopped onto the couch, sighing heavily.

What a day.

She had two full days off before she started work with Mulan, two full days to try not to dwell on the end of another relationship. Lance was right, they didn’t have that _spark_ , or whatever it was that made relationships work. But still…

Her gloomy introspection was cut short by Killian entering the room, stopping short when he saw her. “Swan? Are you okay?”

She looked up at him and wiped away the tears that had gathered at the corner of her eyes. “Um, maybe? I think so. I’m just…having a moment.”

“What happened, love?”

“Lance and I broke up.”

Something like relief and hope flickered across his expression, but the compassion at her tears was real. “Oh god, I’m so sorry, Emma. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, ultimately. It wasn’t serious or anything. I mean, god, we only ever kissed. It has nothing on you and Milah, but…just…it’s another ending.”

“Sweetheart, you don’t need to compare this to my relationship with Milah. Endings hurt.”

“Like, I know it’s for the best. I…but I keep having relationships that don’t work out. Is it me?”

“Oh, my darling Swan,” he said, pulling her into his arms. “It’s not you. It’s just…sometimes things don’t work.”

She buried her face in his chest. “I know. And it didn’t break my heart or anything. It just hurts. Another day, another failure.”

“Emma, I have yet to see you fail,” he said seriously, pulling away from her embrace to meet her eyes. He caressed her face, wiping away an errant tear with his thumb.

She leaned into his hand and reached for his other one. “Thank you, Killian,” she said, pressing her lips to his knuckles.

Something darker, something full of desire danced across his face, and his eyes dropped to her lips.

Emma licked her lips and made a decision. Then she pulled him to her, pressing her lips over his.

He melted into her embrace, and the rest of the world fell away.

—

_Day 112_

Killian woke slowly, a smile on his face. Remembering the previous night, he reached over for Emma. Only to find nothing but cool sheets and the impression of her head on the pillow.

He sat up and scratched behind his ear. His stomach plummeted. A night holding Emma in his arms, her lips on his, their hands _everywhere_ …it wasn’t enough.  

He needed Emma. He probably loved her. _Loved her_ loved her. And by jumping the gun and sharing last night’s intimacies, he’d scared her off.

_Bollocks_. He had probably ruined everything.

He pulled on a tee shirt he found on the floor and padded out to the kitchen. If his life was about to be a total disaster, he needed coffee.

He was measuring out the coffee when the door opened. Emma, clad in leggings and one of his flannels, her hair in disarray and her giant glasses misted over from the cold weather, came in. She was carrying a bag of food from Granny’s and a to-go container with two coffees. Killian just stared helplessly.

“Hi,” she said, smiling.

He remained silent, the panic inside not having abated yet.

“I went to get us coffee and breakfast.”

“Oh. I, uh, I thought you had gone.”

Emma’s smile faded. “Oh, Killian. No. I…I wanted to be there when you woke up. My sleep schedule is still all over the place, so I figured I’d be back. I–”

He interrupted her by kissing her fiercely, and the bag containing their breakfast fell onto the table. He pulled away after a moment and asked, “Shall we start over?”

She was still leaning into him, but she smiled up at him. “Hmm, yes. Good morning, Killian.”

“Morning, love. How did you sleep?”

“Better than I have in ages.”

“Me too, Swan.”

“See, there’s this guy. I’ve had a thing for him for forever, but I didn’t think I had a shot. He was with someone else, and then I started seeing someone, but I never stopped caring. And last night we ended up making out. And other stuff. And I’m really hoping it means something,” she said, taking a breath when she finished.

Killian just smiled at her. It was blinding, joy radiating from every pore. “Emma–I’ve, as you put it, ‘had a thing for you’ since I was seventeen. I loved Milah…but it’s always been you.”

She kissed him again, little kisses that she trailed from his lips down to his collarbone. “Does this mean we’re…something now?”

“It means we’re everything, love. If you’ll allow it.”

“I will.”

—

_Day 230_

They’ve been together almost four months, and every day of it has been bliss. To be sure, it wasn’t all daisies and rainbows–both Killian and Emma were passionate enough to have had some rows. (Usually over breakfast foods or the messiness of their apartment.)

But Killian was happy. Ecstatic, honestly. And Emma seemed happy too. He smiled down at her as they walked down the street, their arms linked. It was probably still too cold for ice cream, but it just gave them another excuse to snuggle closer together.

So he was understandably very distracted when he ran into something. Or rather, someone. He grunted, finally looking away from Emma to see the source of the disturbance.

Milah.

Shit.

Killian glanced over at Emma, who was gaping at Milah.

“Killian?” She sounded just as warm as he remembered (up until those last fights, his mind supplied). “And Emma? You two are…?”

Emma closed her mouth and let her gaze flick over Milah, her eyes widening with surprise. “We’re together, yes. But you’re pregnant!”

Killian’s eyes snapped down to Milah’s midsection, eyes showing his shock. “I-Is it–”

“Yes, I’m pregnant. And engaged to the baby’s father. Archie? The therapist I was going to before? Only he’s not my therapist now. Not like that, anyway.”

Some of the tension in Killian’s shoulders faded, and Emma tightened her grip on his arm. “Oh…uh, how nice. When are you due?”

“And when’s the wedding?” Emma blurted. He squeezed her hand.

Milah smiled a trifle sadly. “I’m due in four more months, and Archie and I’ll be getting married in about a year.”

He paused, nodding. He let go of Emma’s hand and asked, “Are you happy?”

Her smile was more genuine this time. “I am. This baby–and with Archie–I’m very happy. And I hope you are too.”

“We are,” he said, glancing over fondly at Emma.

She just nodded, crossing her arms over her chest. “Definitely.”

But she didn’t meet his eyes.

—

Later that night, once they were home and ready for bed, Killian sighed. Emma had been distant ever since they ran into Milah. He supposed he understood, but…he missed her, even when she was just a few feet away.

“Killian?” He was torn away from his brooding by the woman on his mind, leaning up against the doorway. Clad in just an oversized shirt (that she’d stolen from him, he registered) and her underwear, she sounded hesitant.

“Yes, love?”

“Are you okay?”

“The question is, are you?”

She sighed and crossed the room to sit next to him on the bed. “I won’t lie, that wasn’t easy for me earlier. But I can’t imagine it was easy for you. You loved–maybe still love–her.”

“Aye, part of me will always love Milah. We were together for five years. But Emma?”

“Yeah?”

“It has nothing on you. I’m twenty-eight years old, and I’ve loved you since I was seventeen. And I’ll love you until the day I die, and every day between.”

Her eyes were wet, and she straddled his lap. She pressed her forehead to his, and croaked, “You love me?”

“Always, my Swan.”

“I love you too. With all my heart.”

He kissed her neck, and then rested his head against her shoulder. “You’re all I want.”

She smiled and kissed the top of his head. “Yeah? No babies or weddings?”

“Maybe someday, if you want those things.”

“Sounds like a good deal to me.”

—

_Day 467_

Emma smiled over at Killian. He was engrossed in a book about the history of seafaring, occasionally muttering or exclaiming excitedly.

He had made her dinner, her favorite grilled cheese and tomato bisque, with a good salad to go along with it (“Swan, there’s no excuse for being unhealthy at this stage in our lives.”). All because he knew what a shitty day this was going to be.

She loved him, more than she could ever really express in words.

But she could show him.

She went over to him on the couch, lifting his legs and stretching them across her lap wordlessly. She lightly scratched at his thigh, and he took her hand in his. She brushed her lips across his knuckles, leaning forward. “Killian?”

“Hmm?”

“I have a question,” she said, pushing his book down.

He quirked an eyebrow at her, but marked his place in the book and put it to the side. “Oh?”

“Will you marry me?”

“What?!”

“I said, will you m–”

“I heard you, I just–argh,” he said, leaping to his feet and running back to their bedroom.

“Uh, okay?” she said uncertainly.

Killian came back into the room, something small tucked into his hand.

“So….”

“Emma, love?”

“Yeah?”

“For the record, my answer is yes,” he said, smiling happily at her.

She grinned back. “Then what…?”

He pushed the small velvet box toward her, opening it to show her the ring he had. “I was planning on proposing next week, you know. During our trip in Italy. It was going to be romantic and lovely.”

“Does it bother you that I beat you to it?”

“No, love. Because this? This is perfect.”

“It’s us.”

“Aye, us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for embarking on this journey with me! It's meant so much to read your comments, see your likes and kudos, and know people are reading. This has come to a close, but if you can spare a comment or two, I'd love to hear your thoughts!


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